Author: Susan Neethling,
18 March 2024

This post is the 4th article in the 5 part series on the Habits and Game-Changing Mentality in High-School Rugby Teams.

“Obstacles can’t stop you.
Problems can’t stop you.
Most of all, other people can’t stop you.
Only you can stop you.”

Jeffrey Gitomer

The Gift of Doubt as seen through the eyes of the Warrior Mindset

For a team, self-doubt and criticism can lead to an under-performing feedback loop. The team struggles, the support dwindles, the criticism increases, the players lose heart. The season is lost.

It is important to remember that, very often, doubt can come from a place of protection and care. People who love you don’t want to see you hurt; they might discourage you from pursuing a goal from a place of love, believing they are doing what is best for you by telling you to play it safe.

On the opposite side of the spectrum, there are the people who would love to see you fall flat on your face. They are less insidious and just want to see you fail, offering no support and, in some cases, actively opposing your efforts.

Despite the differences, the message from both groups is the same:

“Don’t do it”.
“Don’t dare it”.
“Don’t risk it”.

Fortunately, the middle ground has quite a substantial mix of people, opinions and intentions. But it can be difficult to navigate. Especially for young men under the intense scrutiny that comes with high-stakes competition.

Listen to everyone, for even in brutal attack, lies a grain of truth. Then, use those grains to forge a set of characteristics and habits that’ll allow your team to act in ways that’ll make the doubters eat their words.

When we can control ourselves, we can control how much power others have over us. The ways of the Warrior Mindset can be taught to young men using a set of principles from the Stoic philosophy.

Stoicism

Stoicism, the ancient Greek philosophy founded in Athens around 300 BC, teaches the development of self-control and fortitude as a means of overcoming destructive emotions.

At its core are four cardinal virtues – wisdom, justice, courage and temperance.

Stoic principles involve accepting what is outside our control and focusing solely on making the best possible choices with regard to those things within our power to influence.

Stoics believe in accepting the dichotomy of control – some things are within our power while others are not. True virtue and contentment arise from focusing solely on what we can control and influence through right thought and right action.

Although an ancient way of living, stoicism speaks to the modern human condition. Its emphasis on self-sufficiency, perseverance, moderation and preparation for adversity offers an antidote to the anxiety and uncertainties of our age.

The Warrior Mindset & Stoicism in Sport

Courage

For teenage rugby players, courage isn’t just about the roar of the crowd or the final score. It’s about etching their character into every action on the field.  Actions speak louder than words, and in the heat of a game, coaches will see exactly what a player is truly made of. Here, facing an opponent, a teenager discovers their own depths.

Without the challenge of competition, how can they know their limits? Rugby provides a crucible where teenagers confront their fears, pushing themselves beyond perceived boundaries. Every tackle, every run, becomes a test, a chance to prove not just to the team, but to themselves, what they’re capable of.

The world loves labels: “strong,” “weak,” “coward,” “resilient.”  But courage isn’t a fixed category.  Teenage players might arrive on the field feeling unsure. Unsure of their place in the team, unsure of their own abilities.  A courageous player, however, uses the game as an opportunity to rewrite that internal narrative. Every successful ruck, every try scored, becomes a defiant answer to those limiting labels.  By stepping up to the challenge, they redefine who they are, both in their own eyes and in the eyes of their coaches and teammates.

Temperance

Temperance – the practice of moderation and self-restraint – isn’t just about avoiding sugary drinks or late nights before a match. It’s about finding the golden mean between pushing themselves and overdoing it.

On one end of the spectrum lies cowardice and a lack of commitment. On the other end exists recklessness – the unsustainable cycle of burnout and injury. The centered path is tempering one’s energies, pushing hard but also allowing proper recovery, slowly building an unshakeable foundation. This is achieved through steady, moderated actions that compound over time into unshakeable mental and physical fortitude.

Temperance also applies to on-field decisions. A temperate player isn’t afraid to take risks, but they understand the difference between calculated aggression and reckless abandon. A temperate player keeps his cool and makes smart choices, knowing that calculated aggression in the right moment can be the difference between victory and defeat.

Justice

Justice goes beyond enforcing the rules of the game.

A stoic mindset allows players to accept the harsh realities they may face on the field with clear eyes, without being blinded by bitterness or resentment. However, justice also demands that you see clearly what the world can be beyond its current state.

Don’t just have your players resign themselves to adversity, but empower them to take responsibility for shaping a better environment through their conduct. Unfair calls, dirty play, or challenging losses – these should not provoke retaliation, but renew a commitment to leading with integrity. Upholding justice means responding to injustice by embodying rugby’s highest ideals even more resolutely. Cultivate a team culture of accountability, fair play, and standing up for what’s right.

It’s about embodying the spirit of the game – doing the right thing even when the referee isn’t looking. A just player respects the game, their teammates, and their opponents. They understand that fairness isn’t just about winning, it’s about upholding the values that make rugby a great sport.

Wisdom

Fostering wisdom in young athletes is perhaps a coach’s greatest challenge. “You cannot learn that which you think you already know” – the brashness of youth can blinds players to their own ignorance.

The path to mastery begins by remaining a humble student, eager to listen and observe. We were given two ears and one mouth for a reason: to listen more than we talk. And since we have two eyes, we are obligated to read and observe more than we talk as well. Guide your players to watch game footage attentively, study the tactics of opponents, and be diligent students of rugby’s history and philosophy. This curiosity fuels their growth, allowing them to adapt their skills, anticipate plays, and make better decisions on the field.

No matter their achievements, they must remain a student. They must seek out knowledge from mentors, constantly train to improve weaknesses, and approach each practice and board session as an opportunity to gain wisdom. True understanding arises not from talking a big game, but from first quieting the ego and opening oneself to learning.

Set Goals and Leave Nothing to Chance

With this in mind, personal and team goals become a powerful and practical vehicle for excellence.

Since the goal achievement process is often likened to a journey, let’s rephrase the concept of clarity and realistic goal setting to fit this analogy:

If you do not know where you want to go, when you want to be there and how you are going to get there, you cannot plan your journey

The key is to leave nothing to chance. Prepare for every eventuality. Create desire for and set your team up for success, and open up possibilities for future growth.

In addition to the practical, tactical training needed, players must be prepared for the emotional toll the pressures of the game can elicit.

In Edition 1 of The Mindset Scrum, we discussed how the brain and its neural pathways, coupled with belief systems and your mindset, creates a feedback loop that justifies impulses and emotions.

Having a pre-determined emotional game plan helps coaches and players ride out the big moments with grace. It gives them the tools to act in the way that aligns with their team values and goals.

Even when they ‘don’t feel like it’, having a hard-and-fast rule book for sticky situations makes it possible to act with dignity. The more the action is repeated, the more likely it is to become habit. Eventually it will become part of personal and team culture.

Embracing the stoic principles as part of a team’s culture gives the players the tools to deal with the emotional pressures on and off the field. Combining that with deliberate goal setting processes will ensure that players embrace the third step in the Warrior Mindset Handbook:

The Warrior Mindset & Extreme Accountability

Extreme accountability, as explored in “Extreme Ownership” by Jocko Willink and Leif Babin, goes beyond personal responsibility. It’s about fostering a team culture where everyone takes ownership of the entire outcome, not just their individual actions.

While this philosophy was forged in military combat where failure could mean life or death, its principles are just as applicable to the competitive arena of high school rugby.

A missed tackle or dropped pass might not be a life-or-death situation, but it can certainly affect the game’s outcome.  Raising the stakes doesn’t mean creating a culture of fear, but rather a culture of collective responsibility.

By holding each other accountable for preparation, focus, and execution, the team becomes a cohesive unit. Rather than make excuses or deflect blame when things go wrong, the Warrior Mindset and extreme ownership make demands. The team must scrutinise their own actions and mindsets mercilessly to identify the root causes of mistakes or under-performance.

“When setting expectations, no matter what has been said or written, if substandard performance is accepted and no one is held accountable
—if there are no consequences—
that poor performance becomes the new standard.”

JOCKO WILLINK

Extreme Accountability Team Culture

When a player shows up late to practice, the entire team suffers. When ball handling drills are taken half-heartedly, it undermines the ability to retain possession. By implementing extreme accountability, every player takes radical responsibility. Not only for their own actions, but for ensuring their teammates are giving full effort and upholding standards.

An extreme ownership culture empowers every individual to lead by taking ownership of failures, rapidly learning from them, and achieving a higher standard of execution through constant improvement.

Only by operating with this level of gritty accountability can a high school rugby team maximize its potential.

None of these are not easy concepts to teach. You cannot force them onto a person or group. It involves a process of introducing the different mindsets and philosophies in stages. This allows the boys to come to grips with the new thought and behaviour patterns.

As soon as they start to embrace the Growth Mindset, the Warrior Mindset pieces start to fall into place. Autonomy is a powerful force. If the mindset changes are their choice, they will pursue it with a relentless obsession that will make them unbreakable.

We will stop when we’re finished, not when we’re tired.

Next up in our 5 part series on the Habits and Game-Changing Mentality in High-School Rugby Teams.

PART 5: THE ANTI-FRAGILE MINDSET

I will stop when I’m finished, not when I’m tired.

Join me on a transformational journey to crack the code of high-performing teams. We’ll dive deep into the mental tools and strategies that ignite relentless drive, equip you to master adversity, and reprogram habits for peak performance, even under pressure.

Want more?

Contact me for immersive workshops to transform your team’s psychology.

Rewrite your limits, one ruck at a time.

Craft a winning season fueled by a growth mindset, shared values, and unwavering grit. Remember, you’re not just players, you’re the architects of your rugby destiny.

So let’s huddle up, game plan big, and make each tackle count.

Cheers to leaving it all on the field, and beyond!

Susan